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Dum 24 Aug 2008, 20:37 Scris de Administrator

VIZITATORII au si ei o sansă de a posta pe acest Forum.
Doar pe acest topic - cine doreste acces la restul Forumului trebuie să se înregistreze.

Ca membri puteti avea acces total la subforumuri ce nu sunt afisate vizitatorilor, cum ar fi Muzică, Politică, Popasuri si altele.

Comentarii: 258
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 ENGLISH

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AutorMesaj
dolion

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MesajSubiect: Re: ENGLISH   Mar 10 Sept 2013, 08:09

Now you are aware of your tongue resting uncomfortably in your mouth.
You are now breathing manually.
You are now blinking manually.
Your body is itching in at least in one place.
You are reading this sentence in Morgan Freeman's voice.
''The Final Countdown'' is playing in your head.

_____________________
Pentru cine vrea să creadă, am o mie de motive. Pentru cine nu vrea să creadă, n-am nici unul.
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dolion

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Numarul mesajelor : 21983
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MesajSubiect: Re: ENGLISH   Joi 03 Oct 2013, 12:07

The sergeant-major growled at the young soldier: “I didn’t see you at camouflage training this morning.”
“Thank you very much, sir.”

_____________________
Pentru cine vrea să creadă, am o mie de motive. Pentru cine nu vrea să creadă, n-am nici unul.
Sus In jos
Ion



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MesajSubiect: Re: ENGLISH   Lun 07 Oct 2013, 15:10

"Nu face sens." Cum zicea un tinerel pe acest B1tv, care a uitat limba romana, traducand din engleza expresia, fara a tine cont de limba romana.
In care zicem foarte frumos: "nu are sens", pe intelesul tuturor.
Inlocuirea lui "a face" cu " a avea" , in expresia respectia, are de a face cu lipsa de respect pentru limba romana.


Sus In jos
dolion

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Numarul mesajelor : 21983
Varsta : 66
Data de inscriere : 31/05/2009

MesajSubiect: Re: ENGLISH   Mar 15 Oct 2013, 21:50

A wife asked her husband to describe her.
He said: "You are A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K."
She asked: "what does that mean?"
"Adorable, Beautiful, Cute, Delightful, Elegant, Fabulous, Gorgeous and Hot" he answered.
She said: "Oh, that's lovely. What about I,J,K?"
He said: "I'm just Kidding!"

_____________________
Pentru cine vrea să creadă, am o mie de motive. Pentru cine nu vrea să creadă, n-am nici unul.
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dolion

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Numarul mesajelor : 21983
Varsta : 66
Data de inscriere : 31/05/2009

MesajSubiect: Re: ENGLISH   Mar 15 Oct 2013, 22:07

Teacher:
- Can you tell the name of 3 great Kings who have brought happiness & peace into people's lives?
Student:
- Smo-king, Drin-king and Fuc-king

_____________________
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dolion

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Numarul mesajelor : 21983
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MesajSubiect: Re: ENGLISH   Lun 21 Oct 2013, 08:15

First woman on the Moon:
- Houston, we have a problem!
- What?
- But nothing, let it be.
- What happened?
- Nothing...
- So tell me.
- No.

_____________________
Pentru cine vrea să creadă, am o mie de motive. Pentru cine nu vrea să creadă, n-am nici unul.
Sus In jos
dolion

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Numarul mesajelor : 21983
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MesajSubiect: Re: ENGLISH   Mar 22 Oct 2013, 19:02

A programmer gets into a cab in silence thinking at his own problems. After a few seconds the taxi driver decides to ask him:
- Well, what's your address?
The programmer replies:
- 192.168.1.254

_____________________
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Emil Condor

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MesajSubiect: Re: ENGLISH   Dum 17 Noi 2013, 18:25


_____________________
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Esti ceea ce lasi în urma ta.(EC)
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Ion



Numarul mesajelor : 4657
Varsta : 77
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Data de inscriere : 29/10/2009

MesajSubiect: Re: ENGLISH   Sam 23 Noi 2013, 14:56

The Last
Wish of Alexander the Great
On his death bed, Alexander summoned his generals and told them his three ultimate
wishes:

1. The best doctors should carry his
coffin;

2.The wealth he has accumulated (money, gold, precious stones)
should be scattered
along the procession to the cemetery, and

3.
His hands should be let loose, hanging outside the coffin
for all to see.
One of his generals who was surprised by these unusual
requests asked Alexander to explain.
Here is what Alexander the Great had to
say:
>
> 1. I want the best doctors to carry my coffin to demonstrate
> that,
> in the face of death, even the best doctors in the world
> have no power to
> heal.
>
> 2.
> I want the road to be covered with my treasure so that
> everybody sees that
> material wealth acquired on earth, stays on
> earth.
>
> 3.
> I want my hands to swing in the wind, so that people
> understand that we come to
> this world empty handed and we leave this world empty handed
> after the most
> precious treasure of all is exhausted, and that is time.
>
>
> Time
> is our most precious treasure because it is limited.
> We can produce more
> wealth, but we cannot produce more time.
>
> When
> we give someone our time, we actually give a portion of our
> life that we will
> never take back.

Our
time is our life.
Sus In jos
Ion



Numarul mesajelor : 4657
Varsta : 77
Localizare : USA
Data de inscriere : 29/10/2009

MesajSubiect: Re: ENGLISH   Sam 23 Noi 2013, 14:57

This is amazing. There are two parts. Be
sure to read the 2nd part (in RED).
Thomas Jefferson was a very remarkable man who
started learning very early in life and never
stopped.

At 5, began studying under his cousin's
tutor.

At 9, studied Latin, Greek and
French.

At 14, studied classical literature and
additional languages.

At 16, entered the College of William and Mary.
Also could write in Greek with one hand while writing the
same in Latin with the other.

At 19, studied Law for 5 years starting under
George Wythe.

At 23, started his own law
practice.

At 25, was elected to the Virginia House of
Burgesses.

At 31, wrote the widely circulated "Summary
View of the Rights of British America? And retired from his law practice.
At 32, was a Delegate to the Second Continental
Congress.

At 33, wrote the Declaration of Independence.

At 33, took three years to revise Virginia's
legal code and wrote a Public Education bill and a statute for Religious Freedom.

At 36, was elected the second Governor of
Virginia succeeding Patrick Henry.

At 40, served in Congress for two
years.

At 41, was the American minister to France and
negotiated commercial treaties with European nations along with Ben Franklin and John Adams.

At 46, served as the first Secretary of State
under George Washington.

At 53, served as Vice President and was elected
president of the American Philosophical
Society.

At 55, drafted the Kentucky Resolutions and
became the active head of Republican
Party.

At 57, was elected the third president of the
United States.

At 60, obtained the Louisiana Purchase doubling
the nation's size.

At 61, was elected to a second term as
President.

At 65, retired to Monticello.

At 80, helped President Monroe shape the Monroe
Doctrine.

At 81, almost single-handedly created the
University of Virginia and served as its first
president.

At 83, died on the 50th anniversary of the
Signing of the Declaration of Independence along with John Adams.

Thomas Jefferson knew because he himself
studied the previous failed attempts at government. He understood actual history, the nature of God, his laws and the nature of man. That happens to be way more than what
most understand today. Jefferson really knew his stuff. A voice from the past to lead us in the
future:

John F. Kennedy held a dinner in the white
House for a group of the brightest minds in the nation at that time. He made this statement: "This is perhaps the assembly of the most intelligence ever to gather at one
time in the White House with the exception of when Thomas Jefferson dined alone."

"When we get piled upon one another in large
cities, as in Europe, we shall become as corrupt as Europe."
-- Thomas Jefferson

"The democracy will cease to exist when you
take away from those who are willing to work and give to those who would not."
-- Thomas Jefferson

"It is incumbent on every generation to pay its
own debts as it goes. A principle which if acted on would save one-half the wars of the world."
-- Thomas Jefferson

"I predict future happiness for Americans if
they can prevent the government from wasting the labors of the people under the pretense of taking care of them."
-- Thomas Jefferson

"My reading of history convinces me that most
bad government results from too much government."
--
Thomas Jefferson

"No free man shall ever be debarred the use of
arms."
-- Thomas Jefferson

"The strongest reason for the people to retain
the right to keep and bear arms is, as a last resort, to protect themselves against tyranny in
government."
-- Thomas Jefferson

"The tree of liberty must be refreshed from
time to time with the blood of patriots and
tyrants."
-- Thomas Jefferson

"To compel a man to subsidize with his taxes
the propagation of ideas which he disbelieves and abhors is sinful and tyrannical."
-- Thomas Jefferson

Thomas Jefferson said in 1802:

"I believe that banking institutions are more
dangerous to our liberties than standing armies.

If the American people ever allow private banks
to control the issue of their currency, first by
inflation, then by deflation, the banks and corporations that will grow up around the banks will deprive the people of all property - until their children wake-up homeless on
the continent their fathers conquered."

I wish we could get this out to every
American! I'm doing my part. So Please do
yours.
Sus In jos
Emil Condor

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MesajSubiect: Re: ENGLISH   Dum 24 Noi 2013, 17:38


_____________________
_____________________
Esti ceea ce lasi în urma ta.(EC)
Sus In jos
Ion



Numarul mesajelor : 4657
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MesajSubiect: Re: ENGLISH   Lun 02 Dec 2013, 03:42

Psychology 101 - This Is Brilliant!! (Simple truth)

If you start with a cage containing five monkeys and inside the cage, hang a banana on a string from the top and then you place a set of stairs under the banana, before long a monkey will go to the stairs and climb toward the banana.

As soon as he touches the stairs, you spray all the other monkeys with cold water.

After a while another monkey makes an attempt with same result ... all the other monkeys are sprayed with cold water.

Pretty soon when another monkey tries to climb the stairs, the other monkeys will try to prevent it.

Now, put the cold water away.
Remove one monkey from the cage and replace it with a new one.

The new monkey sees the banana and attempts to climb the stairs.

To his shock, all of the other monkeys beat the crap out of him.

After another attempt and attack, he knows that if he tries to climb the stairs he will be assaulted.

Next, remove another of the original five monkeys, replacing it with a new one.

The newcomer goes to the stairs and is attacked. The previous newcomer takes part in the punishment...... with enthusiasm, because he is now part of the "team".

Then, replace a third original monkey with a new one, followed by the fourth, then the fifth. Every time the newest monkey takes to the stairs, he is attacked.

Now, the monkeys that are beating him up have no idea why they were not permitted to climb the stairs. Neither do they know why they are participating in the beating of the newest monkey.

Finally, having replaced all of the original monkeys, none of the remaining monkeys will have ever been sprayed with cold water.

Nevertheless, not one of the monkeys will try to climb the stairway for the banana.

Why, you ask? Because in their minds...that is the way it has always been!

This, my friends, is how Congress operates... and this is why, from time to time:

ALL of the monkeys need to be REPLACED AT THE SAME TIME.

Please Keep This Going Around!

TERM LIMITS are the real solution if we can't replace all at the same time.


Sus In jos
dolion

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MesajSubiect: Re: ENGLISH   Lun 02 Dec 2013, 07:44

A drunk was driving his car down a one-way street when a policeman stopped him. The cop said, 'Didn't you see the arrows?' He said, 'Arrows? I didn't even see the Indians.

_____________________
Pentru cine vrea să creadă, am o mie de motive. Pentru cine nu vrea să creadă, n-am nici unul.
Sus In jos
dolion

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MesajSubiect: Re: ENGLISH   Mar 03 Dec 2013, 07:21

A blind man walks into a bar. And a table. And a chair.

_____________________
Pentru cine vrea să creadă, am o mie de motive. Pentru cine nu vrea să creadă, n-am nici unul.
Sus In jos
dolion

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MesajSubiect: Re: ENGLISH   Joi 12 Dec 2013, 18:35

Installing "FIFA WORLD CUP 2014".
Cannot install "FIFA WORLD CUP 2014", please remove Piturca and try again.

_____________________
Pentru cine vrea să creadă, am o mie de motive. Pentru cine nu vrea să creadă, n-am nici unul.
Sus In jos
Emil Condor

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MesajSubiect: Re: ENGLISH   Vin 13 Dec 2013, 05:39

@dolion a scris:
...remove Piturca...
I think he is at the end of rope.

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MesajSubiect: Re: ENGLISH   Vin 13 Dec 2013, 15:04

Rope or hope?
Sus In jos
Emil Condor

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MesajSubiect: Re: ENGLISH   Vin 13 Dec 2013, 23:23

@Ion a scris:
Rope or hope?
Any or both!  smile

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Esti ceea ce lasi în urma ta.(EC)
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Ion



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MesajSubiect: Re: ENGLISH   Mier 25 Dec 2013, 04:53

Blood Pressure Guidelines Can Be Loosened, Panel Says
http://www.nytimes.com/2013/12/19/health/blood-pressure-guidelines-can-be-loosened-panel-says.html

Shared from News on Flipboard. Download Flipboard for free here.
Sus In jos
dolion

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MesajSubiect: Re: ENGLISH   Joi 26 Dec 2013, 13:11

Everyone seems to be wondering why Muslim terrorists are so quick to commit suicide.
Let's see now:

No beer, No bars, No radio, No television, No Playboy or Penthouse, No Teasers, No cricket, No rugby, No football, No basketball, No baseball, No golf, No dancing, No music, No bikinis on the beach, No nude beaches No summer mini skirts and braless beauties, No BBQ pork, No Ham, No bacon No hot dogs, No burgers, No lobster, shellfish, or even frozen seafood sticks, No Christmas.
Rags for clothes and towels for hats, Constant wailing from the guy next door because he's sick and there are no doctors, Constant wailing from the guy in the tower, You can't shave, Your wife can't shave, You can't shave your wife, Sand is everywhere, Sand gets into everything, You wipe your backside with your left hand without toilet paper, You can't shower to wash off the smell of donkey cooked over burning camel dung.
The women have to wear baggy dresses and veils at all times, Your bride is picked by someone else, She smells just like your donkey, and your donkey has a better disposition.

Then your leaders tell you that when you die, you get the 72 virgins and it all gets better! Nope... no mystery here!

_____________________
Pentru cine vrea să creadă, am o mie de motive. Pentru cine nu vrea să creadă, n-am nici unul.
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MesajSubiect: Re: ENGLISH   Joi 26 Dec 2013, 17:47

@dolion a scris:
Muslim terrorists...
That's a good one!   

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MesajSubiect: Re: ENGLISH   Dum 29 Dec 2013, 03:12


_____________________
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Esti ceea ce lasi în urma ta.(EC)
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MesajSubiect: Re: ENGLISH   Dum 29 Dec 2013, 09:42

Cât ne-or bârfi englezii (și, mai ales, "The Sun"), dar româncele noastre le-a picat cu tronc!
Acum, cei mai răutăcioși ar întreba: "Dar englezii au femei?"  Laughing 
Sau fata o fi fost votată de emigranții noștri...  Very Happy 

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/4969385/romania-has-worlds-sexiest-soldiers.html

_____________________
Free your mind!
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Emil Condor

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MesajSubiect: Re: ENGLISH   Dum 29 Dec 2013, 16:50

@Anahoret a scris:
Dar englezii au femei? Laughing 
În Cristian - Brasov, răspunsul ar fi... bărbate! Femei bărbate...  Laughing 

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MesajSubiect: Re: ENGLISH   Lun 30 Dec 2013, 07:54

Wife: Look at that man who has drunk a lot.
Husband: Who is he?
Wife: 10 years ago, he was my boy friend and i denied him for marriage.
Husband: Oh my god, he is still celebrating!

_____________________
Pentru cine vrea să creadă, am o mie de motive. Pentru cine nu vrea să creadă, n-am nici unul.
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